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Etiquette of Primality
The Etiquette of Primality is a manifesto anonymously, not to mention illegally, published and distributed among the troops in Darkshore from an unknown kaldorei author. Inside, it describes how certain Horde races taste, and how to best prepare them to be eaten. The text makes care for the diner to avoid diving into the brain and spine, as the author describes a sickness is held there. It also makes care to prepare the meat as if any other food, and dares not venture into eating it raw or without care. Officially, it has been disavowed by many independent groups. Contents: As was transcribed from Darnassian: One must take care to keep the balance of nature in all aspects of life. In war, peace, death, life, and so on, all self-respecting kaldorei know that the Horde are a blight upon this world. Every land they come across is torn apart, land razed, and women despoiled. World trees burn and entire family lines are extinguished in a single war path. In the end, the Horde are nothing more than another invasive species, and those who truly love nature must indeed make sure the population is kept in check. --but indeed, are we not animals ourselves? In this great circle of life, we consider ourselves superior, yet still refuse to acknowledge we, too, are apart of Elune's bounty. A balance must be made between the invaders and we, the protectors. We dine upon their flesh before the carrions, feeding upon our primal urges as beast and kaldorei. Many shun our past, brazenly slaughtering orcs as they tore into Ashenvale, but I say we didn't go far enough. When you slay your pray, take these virtues into account: # Do not partake into the flesh of our allies, or friends, or your own kind. Feast upon those who invade. # Take what is needed, do not overindulge. # Use all what can be used. Boil the fat into candles if you must, turn the bones into flutes and reagents. # Do not dine upon the brain and spine, they carry a deep sickness that will wrack the mind and body. # Prepare the food as if any other. It may be daunting, but this is the first step into reclaiming our shattered past from the barbarians at our shores. Preparing the Meal: Each different race of the Horde carry their own taste and texture, and cannot be universally prepared. My personal recommendations lie below. Orc The orc taste similar to swine, and can be prepared much like pork or hog. Take care not to cook it for too long, as the flesh will dry out and will become tough and tasteless. Sin'dorei They taste of veal with a similar texture. Fry their flesh lightly, and take care to keep your slices thin. Tauren They merely taste of a tougher beef. Prepare it as you would any cattle, or stew them if you cannot stomach the texture. Although it follows for most others, the marrow in these beast-folk can be quite succulent. Troll The Darkspear trolls are far more delicate than one would think. Their meat is tough to cook, varying between the diet of the troll itself. If able, normal troll meat should be ground into sausages or pate, as they make a fairly fine tartare. Pandaren Their meat is fatty, greasy, and filling. Do take care to have a strong stomach, as indigestion can cause violent diarrhea. Fry their stomach lining into bacon, and use their fat to line your boots or season your pan. Undead Do keep away from these things. Their meat is rotten, and unsafe for true consumption. We may return to our base and primal urges, but we're not monsters. Goblin Goblins are lean and wiry, lacking a great amount of meat to truly be filling. Dice what you can into cubes, then fry them as you would a plantain. Do not give into the pressure of those who would see our people rent into nothing, return to what we once were and cull the herd. Category:Documents